- We have grease under our fingernails
- We never ask for directions – getting lost is usually the point on a motorcycle
- We always have helmet hair
- Speeding tickets
- It’s perfectly natural to have a motorcycle parked in the living room, no matter what her mother says
- The way we look at our bike reminds you of the way we used to look at you
- You’ll have to park your new car outside because the garage is full of bikes
- We invite our biker friends over…all the time
- If the weather is nice, we’re not home
- We spend more on tires than we spend on you
- The bike gets washed and waxed twice a month, the car? Never
- We “need” a bunch of expensive riding gear, usually 2 or 3 of each
- We smell like leather and gasoline
- Can’t find us? We’re in the garage
- One bike is fine, but 5 bikes are better
- Our idea of a date night is riding to a sleazy biker bar
- The sound of a bike starting up is your morning alarm clock
- We rev our engines when going under bridges
- If another bike or car wants to race, you better hold on
- Yes, the bike gets a Christmas gift
- You’ll have to help us with bike projects, because sometimes it takes 3 hands
- You’ll have a burn mark or two from the exhaust
- We have stupid looking tans from riding in sunglasses
- We think leather bras are fine lingerie
- We have no patience for bad drivers
- If you take us to a winery, we’ll order a beer
- The garage is decorated nicer than the house
- You’ll have to come rescue us when we run out of gas on the other side of town
- We buy batteries more often than flowers
- The fridge in the garage is better stocked than the one in the house
- You’ll wonder if “riding bitch” is a verb or a noun
- We pay more for insurance than your car payment
- We never shave, Movember applies all year
- We wear our riding boots to church
- Beer is the base of our food pyramid
- Chicken wings and beer is fine dining
- Everyone will start telling you stories of someone they knew who was disfigured in a motorcycle accident
- Your family will be a worried wreck
- We want to make anything with a motor go faster, including the lawn mower and the blender
- We decorate with racing posters and bikini calendars
- We get 7 different motorcycle magazines a month
- The only acceptable pizza is a meat lovers
- We’ll have to go on every charity ride and poker run. It’s for charity!
- We’re closer to our riding buddies than our family
- You’ll spend an hour scraping ice off your car in the winter because there’s no room in the garage
- We have scars and talk about them proudly
- You’ll have to learn to communicate with hand signals and pokes, because we can’t hear you back there
- You’ll probably be cold, wet, and miserable on many rides
- Your hair will be wrecked
- You’ll have to spend a bunch of money on a jacket, riding boots, helmet and gloves
- We listen to loud, obnoxious music
- The best t-shirt is a wet t-shirt…on you!
- If we sell a bike, we’ll be heartbroken and whiny until we get another one…or two
- Mufflers are optional
- We take our clean bike to the bikini car wash
- You already know the answer to the ultimatum, “It’s me or the bike!”
- Eventually, you’ll swallow a bug
- We can’t count
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